Monday, May 5, 2014

7 Pounds!

I'm still sick with a urinary tract/kidney infection, so I haven't started working out yet.  The whole fever thing isn't conducive to staying upbeat and killing my fat.  But I HAVE been being good, and sticking with the Shakeology shakes.  And in that, so far I'm down 7 pounds.  YAY!  Small victory!  I also found that I can tolerate the chocolate Shakeology so long as I make it like chocolate milk, with less mix and more milk, and don't put anything in it.  Like ice, water, bananas, or peanut butter.  Additives just bring out the artificial sweetener taste.  (And before you say anything, I know stevia is supposedly natural, but it has the SAME EXACT aftertaste as sucralose, aspartame, saccharin, et al.  Ain't no foolin' my tastebuds.  I can also taste the wax in the chocolate on a Ring Ding.  I'd still eat that fucker, though.  So no, you can't sell me on stevia being a natural sweetener.)  So that's amazing to me, and a huge thanks to my bestie Sarah for pointing me in that direction.  I can now finish my sample bag of chocolate Shakeology without puking.

My weekend was busy and fun and lovely.  Full of friends and softball games and free comic books for the kids.  We're trying desperately to help them be the little dorks they were born to be.

There was even a birthday celebration, where I ate cake and ice cream after lunch, but was able to steer myself away from the other cakes and chips and goodies.  I'm happy for me, as it's a small victory that I didn't talk myself into letting myself have "just a couple chips" or "it's no big deal to have ONE cookie."  I limited my TREAT to one small piece of cake and one scoop of ice cream.  And I let myself have it, and enjoy it, because life is too short.  And in order to change my eating habits for life, I can't expect that I won't ever eat cake again.  I want to have my cake, AND eat it.  So I will.  I'll just be smarter the rest of the day to make up for it.  Like at dinner when the kids wanted more ravioli, I gave them each one of mine and limited my pigging out.  Kept 3 extra ravioli off my thighs and I made myself not feel pissy because I gave them away.  And I had a snack while I watched Game of Thrones, but it was natural popcorn with a small amount of butter and salt.  Not the typical bag of Pop Secret Homestyle with extra added butter.  Small changes lead to small victories, but it's all gotta be one step at a time.  Trying to overthrow the fat government is going to just overthrow my head and I'll tap out way before I finish.  And I'm not cool with that.

I'm thinking of going back to therapy, just for some help staying positive.  I was chatting with a friend who has weight troubles like I do, and we agreed that most people become overweight out of depression.  I will readily admit that I've been depressed, and that's what got me here.  However I think that if I can find small things to be happy about, talk through the shit I can't change, and start harvesting the endorphins from exercise, then I'll have a well full of happy that will keep me full and forward marching.  The issue is paying for the therapy, LOL.  $25 a pop ain't cheap!  Even if I only go twice a month.  But like with the 21 Day Fix kit, and the Shakology, I'm trying to not think about putting a price tag on my well being.  I wanted to do something that would just jump-start my weight loss so I would feel like there was a way out, at least, because I don't want to fad diet.  I've said it before and I stand behind the ideal that fad diets are bullshit. Eating healthy, and in moderation, along with exercise, is the way to lose weight and keep it off.  But it's a lifelong change, not a 2 month change.  When I got the 21 Day Fix and saw that it was basically just that, portion control and the best ideas to jump start yourself so you don't get discouraged, it changed my mind about the program.  It IS what I need to follow to make changes.  So I will.  And it will have been money well spent.

I guess that's it for now.  I'm super excited about my hummus, turkey, and veggie wrap for lunch today.  I'm hungry and it sounds totally delicious.  But I have to get going on the laundry.  The never-ending laundry. And get to drinking some more water.  The water is ridiculous.  Takes all damn day to drink that much!


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