The Dreaded Weekend: Sunday #1

Sunday was a good day, or so I thought.  I woke up and weighed myself, and to my shock and surprise, the scale sneered a nasty 271.5 at me.  Fuck.  There goes my milestone.  Oh well, it's only one day, and who knows what happened.  Maybe it was all that salad that had yet to leave, maybe it was eating a 1/3 of a pan of brownies, no matter how low-fat they were.  Maybe I was retaining water, and my rag was looming.  Who the fuck knew.  It was one day, so I decided to be better, and chalk it up to it'll wash out next time.

Breakfast was more Blueberry Special K, as I'm trying to eat up the box.  (Hahaha, I said I eat box.)  Nothing new to report there.  It was the same as it ever is, though Tony took this picture for me, so I didn't forget.  Or something.

I was hungry by mid-morning so I ate a delicious, juicy, ripe-but-not-over-ripe pear.  The kids had Nilla Wafers for snack, and I surprised myself by not instinctively throwing the crumbs and leftover pieces into my mouth as I handed them out.  I tossed them right back into the box like it was something I always did.  Holy shit, my habits ARE changing!  And it's only been a week.  Niiiice.

For lunch, I gave the kids each their own delicious, juicy, ripe-but-not-over-ripe pear, two pretzel rods each, plus a Stoneyfield Farm yogurt.  While they were eating I ate two pretzel rods of my own, and then I made myself lunch, a feast of eggs (my standard two whites + one whole) sans cheese, so I could kinda justify the sausage links I found in the freezer, and two pieces of rye toast.  It was obviously Tony approved; or maybe he just likes to photobomb.  Here's a secret: hot buttered bread is a weakness of mine.  I once ate so much toast in a period of time that I gave myself a yeast infection.  Gross, but true.  I could eat rye toast every day.  The good news is that I used to have 4 slices, with 3 whole eggs.  So I'm making progress.  I had some OJ because Holden had a sniffle and I felt kind of run down, so I thought the OJ would not only compliment my breakfast-for-lunch treat, but also help boost my vitamin C.  It was awesome, but I did regret eating the sausage so I learned that sausage, as delicious as it is, is not worth the guilt.  Bacon may be.  But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I skipped snack since a) I was totally full from my huge awesome lunch, and b) since I was really busy diving into countless piles and baskets of laundry.  Next thing I know, Tony is calling me down for supper!  I managed to get the laundry sorted, and about half of the laundry hung and put away, plus all the towels and sheets.  I also vacuumed our bedroom and cleaned the bathroom floors, vanity, and toilet.  Your mess is all gone now, Katy.  Then I went down and ate with the family, shake-n-bake chicken, which I took the smallest breast of, green beans, and noodles.  I took a little more than I think I should have, but managed to not eat it all, so that's kinda good.  And it was yummers.

That night I watched two episodes of Hoarders on DVR while Tony set up his PC in the living room on the new desk.  And I ate a Hershey bar.  Another guilty decision.  I could have eaten half of it and called it good, a naughty snack, but noooooo.  I had to destroy the entire thing.  Fucking chocolate.  Why is it so good???  I managed to eat it slowly, and enjoy it.  I broke the bar into the little bars, and would bite half the little bar, put the other half DOWN, and suck on what was in my mouth until it was gone.  I repeated the process about 10 too many times though.  Damn it.  So instead of succumbing to the desire to eat more, I went to bed.  Good strategy.

Much love,

The Dreaded Weekend: Saturday #1

I kind of got behind in blogging on a daily basis, which threw off my entire thought process. With Tony home from work and a day planned with my BFF HungryGirl, I skipped posting Friday's events on Saturday morning. Then Sunday came around and we had ridiculous amounts of chores to do, and I skipped posting Saturday, but managed to squeeze out Friday. Then Monday Tony was home but I fell ill - again - to a cold, and was too sick and lazy to put any effort forth and skipped posting. Again. So now here it is Tuesday morning, and I have THREE days to blog. Ugh. I will try not to make this mistake again. It sucks. I've also forgotten the finer details of the day-to-day rigamoro of dieting, so I'll do my best to fill you in but can't make any promises of deep thoughts or affirmations.

I dread the weekends when I'm dieting. I think everyone does. I have 4 kids and a husband who eat whatever they want. I have snacks and poor choices all around me. I have to struggle to stay on track. I have to struggle to not eat Cap'n Crunch with the kids. And Nilla Wafers. And chicken nuggets. And my oh my, the snacks! On weekend nights we tend to take more liberties with our eating, and stay up later, so we get hugrier, and get more munchies. ;) This Saturday was no different. I managed to not eat too horribly, but my choices certainly didn't pay off on the scale.

I woke up and weighed myself, excited to have hit a teeny tiny milestone: I was UNDER 270 pounds!!!  I weighed in at 269, and was super stoked, and proud.  So it was my intention to stay on track so I could get even more off.  Saturday's breakfast consisted of Blueberry Special K scarfed down at the last minute when I realised I hadn't eaten but should.  It was right as I was getting ready to shower and take off, because I had a play date with Yellie at her house all day.  Hooray!!!

I got to Danielle's sometime after noon, and we decided we were hungry so like any BFFs spending the day together, we made brownies.  We decided to skip an actual lunch though, and just eat the brownies to help our caloric intake stay down.  Heh.  In our defense, they were No Pudge brownies, and they were WAAAAYYYY more delicious than I remembered them being 6 years ago, or the last time I tried them.  I will definitely make them again.  Mmmmm.... fudgey.  Though I had to laugh that the serving size was 1/12th of an 8x8 pan.  Pft.  An 8x8 pan is basically 4 servings, duh.  Or at least, that's what I USED to think.  Now in my new reality I'm forced to face the fact that a 1x2 serving is normal.  Even for fat-free brownies.  Boo!  And like any fat girls (even though Yellie is FAR from fat, she's actually completely normal, if not perfectly proportioned, but she loves food as much as any fat girl loves cake), we put whipped cream on our 1/4 of a pan of brownies.  Because it was lunch, duh.  I also had a beer, which was YUMMY, and another smaller serving of brownie, ya know, for snack, before I left to go home.

On the way home I stopped to pick up a Santa Fe chicken salad from Applebee's (which, I found, has only 672 calories, but 47!!!! grams of fat - oy!).  I opted for grilled chicken over fried, and only used about half the dressing, then completely ate the whole salad.  I was craving salad, and it was SO good.  Then, like any good dieter who spent the day playing Kinect with her BFF, I passed out on the couch virtually as soon as Tony took Gwen off it for bed.  That was about 8:30.  I went up to bed at 11:30 and slept straight through.  Ahhhhh!  What a good Saturday it was!

Much love,

272

No, that's not the price tag of my Not Your Daughter's Jeans.  It's not the amount of times we've seen Toy Story 3 (though it's probably close).  It's how much I weighed this morning.  272!!  That's 4 pounds in 2 days!  Now if that's not motivating, I don't know what is.  Go me!

Yesterday was good, but I was bored.  Which is disastrous.  I didn't have the motivation to do anything since my knee is all fucked up after painting the girls' room this weekend.  I had the job of cutting in on the baseboards, so there was a lot of kneeling involved, which is surprisingly something I don't do that often.  Anymore.  Heh.  I've heard that for every pound you lose, you take 4 pounds of pressure off your knees.  It makes sense, since the bulk of people's weight is going to be above the knee.  Like, there's only what?, two feet of body after the knees?  And it's typically not the size of a gut.  So it makes sense.  My knees have been fucked since the triplets were born, something I attribute to not only being way fat but also to 5 weeks of bedrest.  I lost a lot of muscle just lying around the house for 7 months while I cooked triplets, so it's no surprise that my muscles aren't strong enough to do regualr everyday tasks like keeping my miniscus in place.  I mean, I was never Joanna Thomas, so my muscle mass decreased fairly rapidly.  I was in physical therapy for a bit for my knee, and the therapist told me I was weaker than some of the old ladies he worked with.  Talk about a stab to the heart.  Working on gaining my muscle back is one of my goals, but I think it would be easier to exercise and work out once I lose a little weight, to save my knees.  Kinda like how WW will tell you not to exercise until you lose 10% of your original weight.  I think 10% is overly cautious; I can see 10 pounds, 15 pounds even.  But waiting until I lose 28 pounds seems silly.  I don't know... what do you think?

Onward...  I ate fairly well again yesterday, which is good since it's only day 2, LOL, but despite my boredom I stayed on track nicely.  I started the day with my cereal, which gave me loads of energy I did nothing with.  Pft.

Around 10, when I gave the kids their snack, I had one too.  It was yummy and filling though I wish Tess would have stopped asking me for some.  Celery sticks with regular Jif, which I tried to go light on.  I didn't measure, I don't want to measure everything, just get into the habit of THINKING about how much I'm using.  I think if most people were to LOOK at thier food before shoveling it in, they would know that there was too much/too little/the right amount without measuring.  When it comes to things like cereal where I have no idea what a cup looks like in a bowl, or how much a cup of mashed potatoes looks like on a giant plate, then I'll measure.  Peanut butter?  No fucking way I have time for that shit.  Half the pain in the ass of dieting is counting, watching, measuring, points-ing.  So I'm giving it up and instead using what I know in my heart to be a reasonable amount of anything.

For lunch I had a Healthy Choice Chicken Pesto meal, follwed by 14 (the suggested serving size on the box) Triscut Parmeasen Garlic Thin Crisps to snack on while I watched Intervention.  See?  Now that I know what a serving of Thin Crisps looks like, next time I won't have to measure.  Yeah!  Another great bonus to this blog is that I will be able to rate and review frozen diet meals.  For isntance, look at the picture on the Healthy Choice box, then at the actual product.  ::snort:::  Not exactly even close to resembling the delicious gourmet meal they show on the cover.  The fruit compote was pretty good, as was the pesto sauce.  The veggies were dynamite, though I wished they'd have included about a cup more.  Like, there was 3 carrot sticks and 3 broccoli chunks.  LAME.  The chicken was dry and kinda gross, though edible.  All in all, I wouldn't reccomend this meal, and I probably won't eat it again myself.  The Triscuts were AMAZING!  I've never had these Thin Crisps because I thought they'd be more crispy than regualr Triscuts, and too crunchy for my weak ass teeth.  But they weren't.  They were awesome and flavorful and 14 was a nice snack.

In the afternoon I managed to skip snack, but did have a few of the kids' Cheez-Its while I was giving them snack.  It was like I didn't even know I was eating them.  How gross is that?  I ate a handful of Cheez-Its while doling them out just because.  When I figured out what I was doing I immediately jumped up and put the box away.  Yikes!

I made spaghetti for dinner, since I had hamburg turning brown in the fridge and spaghetti is pretty much a bath night staple.  I kicked it up a notch, browning the beef with about 6 cloves of fresh garlic, Italian herbs, onion powder (can you believe I didn't have a single onion anywhere in the house?!  WTF???), and pepper.  NO ADDED SALT!  I added a jar of Prego to the meat, plus a can each of tomato sauce and tomato paste to stretch the sauce a little.  I'm not a huge fan of chunky, meaty sauces so the extra tomato shit made it more suacey.  I baked a loaf of Pillsbury tube bread and Voilà!  Delicious dinner!  What you see here is a salad plate.  I am a pasta destroyer.  Tony is always amazed at how much pasta I can put away (I can also do this with popcorn).  It's a weakness.  I love it.  So I had a lot, but it was still HALF what I usually would have eaten.

What really surprised me though, was how hungry I was shortly after dinner.  I expected that plate of pasta to hold me over until bedtime, but it didn't.  What the fuck, man?!?!  I ended up splurging on brownies, I ate two, but I made them with half the eggs (only used 1) and half the oil (less than 1/4 cup).  To make up for the lack of oil in the brownies, I added applesauce.  They were totally yummy and I would have eaten 3 more but I stopped myself.  Heh.  And I already went for one this morning and managed to stop myself then too.  Nice.  So while I splurged on a shitty snack, I didn't feel so guilty about it because I knew I tried to make it a little better.  So it's not like I said, "Fuck it!  I'm eatin' brownies!"  Which is good.  And so were those super chewey brownies!

Much love,